Cheeky Chickadee Unmasked

Doreen, the allegedly kidnapped chicken owned by famous Vaultmeister Joe Travers, was caught by papparazzi looking extremely good and healthy, exhibiting an enviable tan and even doing the funky chicken in an undisclosed location (click to enlarge image):



She appears to have been brainwashed by her kidnapper, becoming his accomplice (notice, in the picture, how she is accepting a drink from him). Her story has a precedent in the seventies: Patty Hearst. It's an extreme case of the "Reseda syndrome", in which captives become sympathetic with their captors. Doreen further argued she was coerced into her part in Travers' extortion.

Experts had already become suspicious when they found her fingerprints on the now infamous ransom note which was sent to various media outlets.

ChickenNews got to talk to her:
"I know what I've done is horrible. Of course, I don't expect Joe to release the ROXY like you lay an egg. I know he has to bake it, knead it together, add whipped cream, etc. It's just I told him so many times...It is not a secret I am a Zappa-fan too. I hope he'll forgive me some time. Cluuuuuck..." said the -now- repented fowl, in between one sip and another of her WPLJ, trying to explain the iniquitous behaviour.

Joe said he won't file charges against her, but he is now on therapy to overcome the sad experience. "This was a big lesson. Now I am aware: Zappa-fans really would like the ROXY dvd to be released... I'll do my best, I promise".

Be strong; our hearts and minds are with you, Joe!

Joe Travers' chicken kidnapped

Disturbing news reached Chicken News today, as shocking footage of Joe Travers' kidnapped chicken arrived to us via mail.



In a first reaction, Joe who is working as Vaultmeister at what Zappa fans refer to as the Vault, tells us he is devastated and urges everyone who may know more about this horrendous act to get into contact with him. "They must be Zappa-fans," he says, "I mean look at that Frank Zappa book on the couch. I also think these guys have very good taste in interior decorating."

Earlier this week, Zappa fan-blog Kill Ugly Radio had first uncovered the apparent kidnapping of Joe's chicken, unvailing a gruesome ransom note demanding that the "Roxy DVD", regarded by many as The Holy Grail of the Zappa Vault, be released immediately.

Joe's chicken, or Doreen as Joe lovingly refers to it, appears to be alive and well, but for how long? "If it was in my hands, I'd release the Roxy DVD right this minute," said the Vaultmeister, "but it is not my decision to make." Upon which he burst into tears.

Our hearts and minds are with you, Joe!